What goes round, comes round.
Discipline is beneficial to both man and wife.
In a DD relationship, the two partners have agreed to a power exchange.
One is the leader of the house and the other is the submissive.
But not only does the submissive have to work on changing her behavior, so does the HoH.
We made a list of things we both would work on to make our relationship better and more loving.
I have many things I have to work on and change for us to have a happy home.
My Jack doesn't have many at all - but he does have anger issues which he is working on.
What helps him the most is when he disciplines me.
How, you ask?
Imagine the following.
I might say something that Jack misunderstands. Instead of asking me for an explanation, he gets angry and yells at me.
I yell back that he is not listening to what I say!
He then tells me to be quiet, which I don't, because I know this is a case of misunderstanding.
Later, when Daddy Jack has had time to think - he discovers the error, he apologizes and I forgive him immediately, because that is what we agreed upon.
But that doesn't change the fact that he needs to spank me for being disobedient (yelling back at him) and being disrespectful (by turning my back and slamming the door)
Knowing he has to discipline me upsets him, because he has to spank me for a dilemma that he put me in.
If this helps him become more aware of his anger issues, then I am more than happy to be disciplined.
He is my husband, my HoH, my love, my leader - he comes first.
So we both benefit from discipline - in each our own ways.
He learns that his actions have consequences for the both of us.
That is the beauty of Domestic Discipline.
Hugs
Jack's Jill
Hi Jill, some very good points here. Ttwd does require both partners to make changes and our actions do have consequences for both partners. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Roz
Hmmm... looks like you were a fly on the wall in my living room about three nights ago. :D
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliantly stated, Jill - on each side of the equation our behavior has consequences for both of us. And sometimes we're called on to take one for the team, but as you pointed out it's growth and that bears great worth even if the experience is somewhat painful.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
I think the point here is that it helps you both. It is recognising this that is sometimes difficult. What I don't like are the very odd occasions when Starman will simply make a decision without consulting me. And it doesn't happen very often at all. But when it does I get in an immediate strop! Even though our partnerships are weighted on the side of our HOHs, they are still partnerships. And I think that's worth remembering, because as June says above, the consequences apply to both.
ReplyDeleteMany hugs,
Ami
Hi Jill,
ReplyDeleteJust catching up on my reading and so glad the decision was made to go this far back. We put ourselves in the same cycle at times and yes there are punishment spankings even when my Daddy was the one that lost his temper first. Even though it made us both feel better after, it was a hard concept to grasp as the the one being spanked. The perceived unfairness nagged at me. In time it was something one could get over but the way you explained it gave me a much better understanding of it.
Thank you so much.
Hugs
db
Good Read - Men will become more Responsible while making us think twice before reacting in that same old familiar way that brought trouble before! Everyone Benefits!
ReplyDeleteWow what agood post.
ReplyDeleteI never would have thought of it that way, thank you
Bob